The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator

I've stumbled upon this site which translates serious English prose into 12 year old internet chat prose. Here's another The Americans are the Real Terrorists post from 'Lenin' (aren't they always?)

Now, look at this. When you've bombed hospitals, destroyed cities, attacked the civilian infrastructure, shot people up in their houses and cars, shot at ambulances, fried people alive with white phosphorus, killed hundreds of thousands of people, tortured and raped prisoners to death, and pounded housing estates with bullets and shells, you're probably running out of possibilities for barbarity and savagery. Time for a school run. Seven kids killed, three wounded, and the contemptible excuse offered that they were only trying to kill the bad guys, who are so wicked and evil that they hide themselves among the civilian population, even tricking good American boys into believing that they may be secreted in the clothing of small children in a school. They forced the yanqui liberators to fire on those poor kids, and so it's their fault.


Ok I put it through the translator and get this

NOW LOK AT THIS!!111 OMG WTF WHEN U BOMBD HOSPITALS DASTROYED CITEIS ATAKAD DA CIVILIAN INFRASTRUCTUR3 SHOT P3OPLE UP IN THEYRE HOUESS AND CARS SHOT AT MBULANCAS FREID PEOPLE ALIEV WIT WHIET PHOSPHORUS KIL3D HUNDREDS OF THOSANDS OF P3OPLA 2RTURAD AND RAEPD PRISON3RS 2 DEATH AND POUND3D HOSNG ASTAETS WIT BULETS AND SHELS UR PROBABLEY RUNNG OUT OF POSIBILITEIS FOR BARBARITY AND SAVAEGRY!1!11 OMG LOL TIEM FOR A SKOOL RUN!111!!1!1 OMG WTF LOL SEVAN KIDS KILED THRE WOUND3D AND DA CONTEMPTIBL3 EXCUES OFERAD TAHT THEY WERA ONLEY TRYNG 2 KIL TEH BAD GUYS WHO R SO WIK3D AND 3VIL TAHT TH3Y HIED TH3MS3LV3S MONG DA CIVILIAN POPULATION 3VEN TRIKNG GOD MERICAN BOYS IN2 BLEIVNG TAHT THEY MAY B S3CRET3D IN DA CLOTHNG OF SMAL CHILDR3N IN A SKOOL!1!!! THAY FORCED TEH YANQUI LIEBRA2RS 2 FIER ON THOS3 POR KIDS AND SO ITS THEYRE FAULT!!!11!!1!


Brilliant! It seems to bring out a certain Je ne sais quois with Lenin's Respec' rants

4 Responses to “The English-to-12-Year-Old-AOLer Translator”

  1. # Blogger Peter Risdon

    Brilliant. Genius.  

  2. # Anonymous jamal

    DA THNG TAHT STRIEKS ME SI TAHT ALOT OF WORDS WIT TEXT CHAT R ACTUALY LONG3R OR TAEK LONG3R 2 TYPE THEN ORDINARY WORDS!!!1!11 OMG I DONT MIND TH 3SHORT WORDS BUT WH3N P3OPLE START ADNG SYMBOLS NUMBRS AND IMAEGS IN2 EVERY WORD WHICH TH3N MAEKS IT LONGER 2 ACTUALY READ I HAEV 2 IGNORE IT ON PRINCIPLA!!1111 LOL  

  3. # Blogger jonz

    :)  

  4. # Anonymous Anonymous

    I havn't had a laugh in a long time, and this has given me a chance to do just that.  

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